So I've always had weight issues....up and down up and down. This past year has really knocked me down and I feel unhealthier than ever. I try to get up and going but I am rarely successful. I hav a bike my husband bought for me that I barely ride anymore. I've never been really into fitness and healthy eating but I think it's time. I lost my best friend and instead of getting healthy, I've done the total opposite and am beginning to hate myself. I am desperate for help. I am clueless about "real" healthy eating and exercise...I need a schedule to work with or I'll never do this. I need to be here for my son but this weight seems impossible to lose so I lose all motivation to try!

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Hey girl, It's never too late. It's always overwhelming and intimidating, though. I think. I struggled with weight ups and downs and yo yo dieting pretty much my whole life, I remember it back as early as 7 years old (and feeling incredibly self conscious in my gymnastics outfits).

I still have my struggles, mostly with overeating and over dieting at this point (getting into that diet head mentality is so, so awful and really counterproductive to lasting weight loss). I totally feel you on this. Two things I've observed over the years of doing nutritional work is that 1. Lasting life style changes have to happen which means that your diet of choice has to work for you physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and financially, and 2. No one things works exactly the same for different people. 

It's best to add in healthy stuff. For example, before your dinner, add a salad with your favorite salad dressing and veggies. For me that is usually baby spinach, avocado, tomatoes, some diced shallots, lemon juice, maybe some sea salt and diced garlic or stevia or agave nectar to sweeten the salad a bit. Some would like a tbsp of olive oil. Then, you can start to replace things like white pasta with whole grain pasta, such as spelt, and trade white rice for brown rice, or cow dairy for goat dairy. 

It can seem overwhelming at first but there are healthy substitutes for all unhealthy foods at this point! Let me know if I can help you in any way. I have posted a lot of things on my blog over the years but I know how beneficial and often necessary that hand held guidance is, especially if you want to make lasting change. 

Thank you Marlena, I feel alone alot lately and I just eat which is packing on the my lbs. A little guidance on new foods and ways to cook can go a long way I believe. I feel like everything I've tried in the past needs to be thrown out the window and I need to start from scratch. The yo yo diets and starving myself only ended me up here, back at a weight I don't like. My energy level has hit an all time low...I really need to get my motabolism moving!

You're welcome, and I just wanted to mention, don't be hard on yourself if you've gained weight during a tough year, which I know you've had. Food is so easy to turn to when you just don't want to think about something, and it's not like alcohol or drugs where you can just abstain completely and survive! It's a difficult thing to lose weight, especially when you are sad. 

And I agree with what Mare said below, I think when you're trying to make significant changes, you really have to be honest with your weaknesses and stay away from certain foods and keep your goals/desires as your center or most focused thought. It's too easy to trick yourself into thinking you can NEVER change. It's so hard, but definitely doable. 

It also helps to find things that are healthy that feel indulgent to you. For me, I was OBSESSED (Still am) with ice cream pretty much my whole life. Cookies n cream, ice cream cones, ice cream sandwiches, ice cream cake LOL you get the picture, so now, for me, the ultimate indulgence is banana ice cream (you basically just break up ripe bananas, put them in plastic bags in the freezer, and then put then in the food processor until you have this creamy dreamy banana soft serve ice cream thing). You can use them in a blender, too, with some water or almond milk, a couple tbsp of cocoa powder and stevia or agave for a chocolate milkshake. This is the ultimate indulgent dessert for me because I can eat so much of it and I LOVE it and it doesn't weigh me down and doesn't have any sort of negative effect on my body like eating a pint of haggen daz does. 

For exercise, long walks with my daughter, especially in this weather is the greatest. It feels so good to me. Also my Tracy Anderson dance routines LOL as mentioned in our private group!

That's just one example but this is a very individual thing. 

Random or a sign but last night at Walmart, I came across a Tracy Anderson DVD...I popped it n this morning after I took rj to school and of course had my coffee first. Her routines are intense for me so far but IM gonna do a little at a time and continue my daily walks to the cemetery. IM researching healthy eating and cooking also, I just hope this bump in my motivation keeps growing! IM clueless on what to buy, where to shop and what to eat. Thank you ladies so much for your support and tips. It means alot and I feel less lost and alone.

Marlena, I am really living this site and how free I feel to write what I want. Thank you so so much!!!

That's great!!! And thank you for letting me know you're enjoying the site!

Hey! I can relate to exactly what you mean...and the only thing I can tell you is that you are moving in the right direction by admitting your fault and weakness and knowing you would like to make a change. Stick to those thoughts and continue to remain positive about working out...or dieting/eating healthy. It really has to come from within you...you have the power to change if you truly desire it!!!
Hey Crystal, I just read your post and I'm glad you're opening up and that you're open about being ready for a change and are willing to do something. Most people chose to ignore it. First of all I'm truly sorry for you losing your friend that must be very hard for you. The first step i believe is to know that you're not alone. Hopefully by opening up you feel at least a little relief which will help you achieve your desired goal. Second you should look at your everyday life schedule and trim it down to what truly is important. You will be surprised to see how much time we all waste on useless things(believe me I know I have to remind myself all the time). After you have everything figured out then make yourself a mini routine were you can accomplish all your tasks. I mean, a little exercise nothing crazy but a routine were you do cardio or aerobics pilates, which ever you feel the most comfortable with. Also with some of the extra time do some house rearrangement and throw out things you no longer need. Try remaking your home but with out spending a lot of money you'll be surprise at how your home looks after moving a couple of things around. This will make you feel less stressed and happier. Also, believe in yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror. The faster you learn to really love yourself the faster you'll experience true happiness. Hopefully you will get some good tips on food from my wife (marlena). You'll be surprised at all the many options that are healthier than traditional favorites. Remember that the weight will take a little bit of time to fall off, and it is better to take it slow at first build a little pattern. Soon you will be doing your routines a lot easier. The first couple weeks are very hard. I myself have been trying to lift for years now and I just can't seem to gather the energy plus a very busy schedule. Plus I work on construction it's very demanding physically and mentally. Remember, just be patient and try to stick to a routine. That's very important for the beginning. After you know that you can skip a day because you know you will exercise the next day you're golden till then it is going to be hard work but try to make it fun. Remember you already did two very important things which are admitting you want to change and wanting to do something about it and now is your chance. Only you have the power to change and we will be here to support you. Sorry if this is long sometimes I get carrie away.
Enrrico, thank you for all your support and suggestions...this is exactly what I need to stay motivated. Since losing my bestie, I don't really have a lot of close friends. I am desperate to do this for myself and my family. I used food to comfort myself through the toughest time in my life, my husband almost died last may, kidney failure from alcoholism. He checked in the hospital at 536 lbs and today is around 325 lbs and sover....he's lost 200 lbs and I can't lose 20...my friend was also heavy, her death along with my husbands health scared me. I can't do this anymore and I know this is going to be a hard process but I can't diet, I need a lifestyle change. What you said about rearranging the house, I've been.working on that for a week now, my Livingroom is done and I have so much more space to workout! woohoo! Marlena has been a godsend for me, when I feel like IM alone, he words lift me up and keep me going. Thank you both for this site, It is exactly what I needed I think. I feel free to talk about my weight issues without criticism and it feels amazing!

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